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What a Friend is to Me

I am so grateful for the quality time I spent with friends and for all the great conversations the past two weeks in San Francisco. When you’re constantly moving from city to city, it’s hard to grow roots. It may seem like a glamorous life being on the road, but there are always upsides and downsides to everything. Making new friends can be difficult when you know you’ll be gone the following year, and so is keeping in touch with old friends. That’s why I am so grateful for my time in SF.

I really miss having my friends nearby. My closest friends are all scattered in different cities. I may even make some good friends in Las Vegas (should I push myself out of my comfort zone), but who knows where we will be next year! ….leaving behind a trail of friends. :(

SFO on a cloudless day | the meaning of friends on the road.Pin

I will say that moving away is a reason I am reluctant to make new friends, but I also always worry I will spread myself out too thin. Quality over quantity, right? When I do finally make friends, I’d like to think that I am a loyal friend that works hard at making them know how much they are loved. (Friends, let me know if this is not true! :P) That takes time and energy, and I am limited on both.

Maybe it’s just a girl thing, or maybe it’s because words of affirmation is my love language (or maybe I’m just higher maintenance), but it’s rare for me to have friendships where I can just pick it up where we left off. It’s important for me to drop a line whether it’s through snail mail, email, or text just to let my friends know that I am there for them and vice versa. Make an effort in some shape or form. I also realized that one of my highest core values is authenticity. I usually only choose to move forward in the relationship if I know they are genuine. True and meaningful friendships are important to me.

Coffee date: The Meaning of FriendsPin
The Meaning of FriendsPin

Other gratitudes from my SF trip:

  • Discovering mint mojito iced coffees at Philz. I’m obsessed and went back for one almost everyday.
  • Trying a lot of new places and updating my list of good eats in SF.
  • Trying out new skin products and tea thanks to Hsiao.
  • Finishing 3 books from my Summer Reading Challenge!
  • Watched a lot of tv while Hsiao was recovering. Caught up on Scandal, House of Cards, and tried Dexter and Madmen.

What about you? What are your core values and how do you define your friendships?

This is week 36! You can check out an older post on friendship or any of my other gratitude posts by clicking on the banner below:

This is week 35 of my gratitude practice & 5 Simple ways to save money to travel more.Pin

This Post Has 20 Comments

  1. *wail* i wish i had been there. =( but i’m glad you got to “try” to take care of hsiao. =)

    1. esther julee

      same here! i wish we could do another SHE reunion. that time in portland maine was SO FUN! sometimes i still look at those pictures. :) you may have had better luck! at least she would trust you with all your experience taking care of sick people!

  2. Staying in touch is so hard. I certainly agree with quality over quantity. Some friends I find I can pick right up with even if we are not in touch all that often (put most of those are childhood friends).

    1. esther julee

      Did you grow up and live in the same place for a while also? I think partly I have a harder time keeping in touch because I moved so much when I was a kid. I was constantly having to develop new friendships, but had a hard time knowing what to do with the ones I left behind.

      1. I did…I know that it would be much harder if I moved when I was younger. It is hard to make those deeper connections when you move often.

  3. Britt @ One&20

    Mint mojito coffee? WHA?!
    That sounds phenomenal!
    I’m not great at keeping long distance relationships – I tend to leave and leave behind friendships, and it’s something I really would like to change about myself. I need to get better.

    1. esther julee

      Yes! You need to try it! :) If you’re a coffee drinker, maybe you should try crushing mint into your regular coffee and see how it is. Apparently that’s all they do to one of their blends.. but they are also known for their coffee. I’m not much of a coffee snob, so I wouldn’t know.

      I am definitely the same way with long distance relationships. I have to make a lot of extra effort not to be that way. I could also improve in this area. It’s good to know that we are all a work in progress. :)

  4. Erica Alferez

    As a blogger, most of my friends are from many different locations. I have found it very important to make extra steps in keeping the bond strong. Snail mail is my personal fave :)

    mint mojito iced coffees… say what? I need this in my life!

    1. esther julee

      And I feel like I’ve been making more long distance friends through blogging. :) It’s definitely nice because we can keep up with each other by reading each other’s blogs.

      It’s amazing!

      1. Erica Alferez

        Truly amazing!
        Especially when you find a blogging friend who becomes a “real life” friend! :)

  5. Shannon Kennedy

    Lovely post! I really want to try a mojito mint iced coffee now, it’s sounds amazing. I wonder if I can find a recipe for it somewhere?

    Congrats on your Summer Reading Challenge progress – I just finished my first book, so I’m a bit behind. Hopefully I will have some time to catch up soon.

    So happy you were able to spend time with one of your friends.

    1. esther julee

      Thank you Shannon! You should try one. I didn’t know what was missing in my life until I had that. haha I hope I’m not overhyping it! Apparently, someone told me that it’s just one of their blends that you can buy and you just add crushed mint to it.

      What book did you read? I think my progress will be slowing down. Being sick and being with a sick friend definitely gave me plenty of time to read and catch up on movies! :D

      1. Shannon Kennedy

        I read a book about music publishing and I’m currently working through “The Dark Side of Camelot” but I’m not sure if I like it. I have a mint plant in my herb garden, so I’ve got that covered. I’ll have to see about ordering some of the mix!

        Hope you and your friend are both feeling better!

  6. Margo

    This is a really sweet and sincere post. Despite the joy of gallivanting around Europe, I also really miss my friends. Interesting that you mention your language of love and how it doesn’t just apply to a partner, Dan and I were just discussing this last night. I’m almost 100% touch. I love a good hug!

    Glad you had so much fun in SF – that mojito coffee concoction sounds pretty stellar!

    1. esther julee

      Thank you! :) I didn’t mean to come off sweet.. haha. I think we all sometimes have the grass is greener on the other side mentality, but the truth is there are positives and negatives to every lifestyle.

      What about Dan? What is he? Jacob is an acts of service person, and I’m definitely 80-90% words of affirmation. If you’re ever in SF, you must try it! I’m not a coffee person, and I was hooked!!

      1. Margo

        I think I should have phrased it ‘honest’ and sincere, vs. sweet. I’m not sure if it makes sense, but your comments were really touching because they hit so close to home. So thank you for that! :)

        Dan is also an acts of service person, meanwhile I could care less if people do things for me because I’m relatively independent. I guess the good thing is that at least we know where are problem ares are. :)

        I was curious, how has your experience been with ProPhoto? I’m thinking about switching over from blogger to increase my SEO, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the time and investment.

        1. esther julee

          Prophoto is just a template with wordpress. So far I like it because I’ve had it for such a long time.. and I hate switching and having to teach myself new things sometimes. :P Do you think wordpress is better than blogger in terms of SEO? I thought they were pretty hand in hand and since google owns blogger, I assumed their SEO was much better (for google anyways). If you want to get the ProPhoto template I have a referral code: ELEE2208 where you get $10 off. I haven’t really shopped around so I can’t say that it’s better or worse in comparison though.

          It’s definitely a start to learn to understand each other. :) In all relationships, it’s so easy to misunderstand each other, because we all don’t process and think alike or feel loved the same way. I always have to constantly remind myself to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

  7. Good job on the progress that you made for the Summer Reading Challenge! I’m planning to take advantage of the long weekend coming up to get ahead. I’ve always been someone who looks for quality over quantity in friendships too, although I can be out of touch for awhile and then pick up where we left off. My best friend and I are like this actually. We have different work schedules (and she has a really odd one) so we don’t get to see each other that much. And then we just don’t always keep in touch on a regular basis. We might have one month where we’re constantly texting and another where we barely check in. It sounds like you had a good time away.

    1. esther julee

      Thanks so much! :) down time and being sick really helped me get ahead on reading goals. i guess there is a silver lining to everything. I think once a month is pretty good for checking in. All my friends and I are long distance… so the checking in helps.. I feel like without that we’re losing touch. I’m always really intrigued to hear other people’s views on relationships. :)

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