It’s my 10th week of practicing gratitude! :) Should I celebrate? Although this is difficult to live out, this is my favorite gratitude quote of the week:
This week has been a week of personal growth, and here are a few things I’m grateful for this week:
1. There is always more room to give. I read this in Mother Teresa’s biography the other day. She said don’t give out of abundance but give until it hurts. This is a difficult thing. In the past, I used to think I was a generous person, but it was never to a point where it hurt. I was still always within my comfort zone. I may never be able to give anywhere near how Mother Teresa gives, but I can increase my generosity little by little.
2. Lessons on forgiveness. This week Jacob and I hit a bump in the road. It’s his story to tell, so I won’t really go into all the details. All I will say is that I was deeply hurt by his actions, and realized how hard this thing we call forgiveness is. Just like giving until it hurts, forgiveness is difficult. It always feels like I’m hurting myself every time I choose to forgive. When I read Jesus saying to forgive 70×7 times, I wonder if I could ever be capable of forgiving that many times. Give that many chances to one person? Even the once is hard enough. Especially when the feelings don’t follow, and you still have to make the choice to forgive. But then again, can I even count the number of times Jacob has forgiven me? We’re both only human and flawed to our core. Even in the future, we can’t prevent hurting each other. It will happen. All we can do is try our best to forgive each other time and time again and grow from it.
3. Growing Pains. When thinking about some hard lessons I learned this week, I thought to myself “wow.. this is what growing up must be like…” I know I am nowhere near who I want to be, and I have a long road ahead of me, but I can see that I have grown.. especially in the way I deal with my relationships. In the past, I will admit that I would often swing from giving the silent treatment to being explosive whenever my feelings could no longer be contained. I expected the people around me to read my mind and know exactly why they had upset me. Now I can communicate my feelings better. Instead of expecting to be understood, I realize we both need to work on trying to understand each other. There are always two sides to every story. Two perceptions. I’m thankful that despite our hiccups in marriage, we can talk things out and find a solution to work on our problems together.
4. Working out. We worked out on vacation! Wooohooo! I’ve never in my life been able to workout while on vacation. Yesterday doing insanity in our hotel room was a first for me. Someone pat me on the back please! :D
5. Unplugging. I’m in Vegas staying at a resort from a voucher we got through a timeshare presentation. I just hope I can say no again the second time they try to sell me the timeshare! Also, I apologize in advance if there is a lack of updates on fb, twitter, etc for me and for heartphilippines. We’re still here, but I’m hoping to unplug this week. I know it’s weird to unplug in a city like Vegas, but other than my photo of the day on instagram, I want to try! I want to find time in silence to reflect, rest, and relax. We need to spend intentional time repairing our relationship. We also need some play time, so see you on Monday… hopefully richer not poorer! ;)
This is part of the GRAD-itude link-up series. If you want to see some of my other posts, click on the banner below:
This Post Has 4 Comments
I know I am super behind, but I just want to say — there is so much wisdom in this post — and so much mature tackling of the hard stuff! Way to progress and way to notice your progress in these difficult things! :) Amazing!
Thanks Erika! :) It’s never too late.. I always look forward to reading your comments.
I really wish I could tackle everything in life the mature way.. haha unfortunately, I still enjoy being immature. It’s a process, but I’m definitely glad I’m not where I used to be!
Esther, what a beautiful post–especially your notes on forgiveness and growing up. Growing up can be such a challenge but I love that you are able to see the long perspective–how the challenge and pain we feel can lead to growth and help us become the people we want to be. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading! :) It really is a challenge.. and i’m not sure when I’ll see the day that it isn’t still a challenge. Life seems to be challenging me to grow and learn. I can choose throw a tantrum or to actually learn life’s lessons. Hopefully, i’ll be doing more of the latter. haha