If you want a more lighthearted and positive post, read this. This is one of those posts where practicing gratitude feels like I’m pulling teeth. If I had positive life quotes on my wall, I would be tearing them all down right now, because right now I feel like hell. And for the past few nights while I’ve had trouble breathing, I have thought to myself many times that I would rather die than feel like I’m suffocating. I will take sharp pain over a dull and constant one anytime. In spite of this, I know that I am committed to doing my weekly gratitude practice for at least one full year, and this is when I probably need it the most.
Admittedly, health is something that I generally take for granted. Being sick for the past week made me realize how fortunate I am to be a healthy, functioning human being most of the year. Granted there are the few times that some form of cold or flu combined with my asthma makes me useless for a couple months every year, but I know many people have far worse conditions. The fact that I can wake up every morning and breath on my own, walk on my own, do most things without inhibition is a huge blessing.
When reflecting on gratitude, I am first reminded of three people. 1. My grandma. I don’t know how she puts up with all the crap that comes with old age and still manages to have a smile on her face. 2. My mom who has been sick with the same pneumonia as me still goes to work everyday without a single complaint. 3. My second mom. I’ve come to know her after her car accident that paralyzed her from the waist down. I remember her saying how it would be a dream to walk or run again, but this has never stopped her from living her life.
I am often inspired by all these women and the manner in which they live their lives. Maybe one day, I will mature enough and gracefully accept the curve balls life throws my way, but right now I am hating my life. Meanwhile, I hope these weekly gratitude practices will teach me how to appreciate what I have now and live life to the fullest.
BTW, I finally caved and went to the doctor to get a steroid shot and some antibiotics. I hope to be on the way to good health again!
What I am looking forward to and am grateful for when I am my healthy self:
- Walking around the neighborhood to soak up the sun.
- Going to the hot tub without worrying about how the drastic temperature changes will affect my health.
- The ability to exercise. Yes, it feels like a chore sometimes, but it’s an ability not everyone has!
- Being able to think outside of my self and finally take care of our cats, our plants, maybe even Jacob? :P
- Being able to leave the house to do normal things like go to the grocery or hang out with friends.
- Hiking! We have so many hikes to go on before the summer comes… I hope we can get to them all.
- Dating again. It’s been put on hold for the meantime, but I am so ready to date again!
But while I’ve been sick, I am grateful for:
- Jacob has been making me hot water every few hours and doing all sorts of grocery runs for me.
- My friends have been checking up on me to see how I’m doing.
- My family and church have been constantly keeping me in their prayers.
- Long, hot showers that clear out my airways.
- Tea. I have been drinking tons of numi, chukar cherries, and korean barley tea. Any tea you’d recommend?
- Sweet Oranges. I’m trying to boost my immune system so I have been eating tons of them.
- Finally got my appetite back! Though it’s only for unhealthy food, it’s better than not eating. :)
How has your week been going? Hopefully a lot better than mine!